Life happens, there is no doubt. This week, I lost someone I loved and I did not get to say good bye. I did not get to tell her how much she meant to me. I did not get to tell her how she changed my life. I did not get to tell her all of the words that I held in my heart for so many years because I let life get in the way.

We met somewhere early in life, middle school…high school…who knows. I was friends with her sister and she tagged along from time to time. Pretty quickly, I found myself with her rather than her sister. There was something about her, a light, that I was drawn to immediately. To say she was a firecracker was an understatement.

At some points, we were inseparable. I did her hair for Prom. When some bully gave her trouble, I showed up at school to settle the score. If a boy broke her heart, my shoulder was there to catch her tears. She was the kid sister that I never had and we shared everything siblings share, from heated arguments to unconditional love.

As we grew up, we worked together, celebrated together, lived near each other. She was a daughter to my parents. She was an aunt to my children. No longer a friend, but truly a part of my family. We shared so much history, not perfect, but always filled with love.

This week, I got a call that she had passed away.

The shock and devastation hit me like a ton of bricks. We had not spoken in years.

Somewhere along the line, I went this way, she went that way. There is nothing that happened to end our friendship, but also nothing that carried it on. For years, I had been thinking about her. “…I should really call her…I will look her up soon..” Soon never came. And now, soon will never come.

I cried until I could not breathe. I cried for a young life lost. I cried for the kid sister I left behind as my life took off. I cried for all the memories that we never reminisced over. I cried for all of the years that we wasted being too busy to connect. I cried because I failed her and failed myself by not investing into a relationship that I valued.

They say grief is often a product of guilt and regret. When we lose someone, most of our thoughts are about things we did not say and things we did not or will not do with that person. There is something to be learned in every situation we encounter in life. I learned that “soon” leads to never. Make the call. Send the note. Find the time.

Dear Shannon,
If I could tell you how much light you brought to my life, I'd write it on every star...
If I could tell you how I adored your spirit, I'd sing it into every cloud in the sky...
If I could tell you how your laughter filled my soul, I'd whisper it into each gust of wind...
If I could tell you how much I loved you, I wouldn't wait for a tomorrow that will never come...
Rest in Peace, my beautiful friend.  You will forever be missed!