I have never been a gloom and doom kind of person, but there is a tradition in my life (and I hate to call it that), that I did not choose and do not want. For no reason I can explain, the first weekend of August, every time it comes around, for that last 7 years brings a new (practically) unbearable tragedy to my life. I don’t mean tragedy, like the the heel of my shoe broke off or my favorite plant died. I mean tragedies that forever alter the course of your life. FOREVER ALTER. Year after year, one blow after another. The first weekend of August is so terrifying to me because I never have any idea what is coming my way, and it has never brought anything that could have been predicted.

In the midst of last years devastation, I was so distraught trying to understand what it was about this particular weekend and how it was possible that over and over again tragedy rears it’s head at such a specific time. Was I a serial killer in a past life? Did I enact my worst massacre on the first weekend in August? What did I do to cause this recurring nightmare the first weekend of August EVERY YEAR????? While I have no answer to the why, I know that I cannot live with this fear and anxiety every year. I can’t do it anymore. I won’t do it anymore.

During a particularly soothing session of Yoga some years ago, the Yoga teacher said this: “…if you are uncomfortable in your current position, change your mind or change your body, but do not sit in discomfort…” Those words rang through my ears and straight to my heart. I decided this year, in my year of change, that I would no longer sit in discomfort. Very decisively, I was determined to change the history of the first weekend of August. Not only change the history but cast some positive light over the weekend to shine through the darkness the encompasses it.

For sometime now, I have felt a draw towards Yoga and the lifestyle that comes with the practice. Over the last year, I have not been able to maintain my normal practice, but I did what I could, when I could and tried to live the life. Also, I wanted to create a place of peace, for myself ,to find solace on days where life is so overwhelming that I want to bury my head in the sand and hide (a.k.a The First Weekend of August). This year, in order to forever banish the curse of The First Weekend of August, I registered for Yoga Teacher Training with my second favorite Yoga teacher on the planet. (My number one is irreplaceable but does not do training) Also, I began to build a floating mediation platform that will be placed in my beloved Down Below.

I have never built anything nor have a ever used a saw. But change sometimes means taking a leap into the unknown and seeing where it will lead. With an open heart and an open mind, I began to build a structure with no real plan. In much the same way, I enrolled in YTT with no real plan for where I wanted to go. I feel a calling to deepen my practice. I feel a calling to create serenity in my life. I will not be a victim to whatever circumstance gave birth to the tragic First Weekend of August.

This year, for the first time in 7 years, the First Weekend of August came and went. The only thing that happened is that I changed it’s meaning forever. I began to build my meditation platform and I invested in myself (for the first time in my life) by committing to deepen the practice I love so much.

Will I teach when I am done? I do not know. Will my platform actually float? I do not know. And the answers don’t matter much in this story. What matters is that I was uncomfortable and so I changed my mind. I will not sit in discomfort….

Side note: My platform is not quite done, but here is the progress! Stay tuned for updates!

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